I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
