i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
