so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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