I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
