This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
