I'm lost and stupid without you.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
