we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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