You can't special order awesome
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
