He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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