I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
