just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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