Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
