Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize