Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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