remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
