it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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