you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The power of my boobs compel you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
