I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
