I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
