My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
