I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
