i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
