Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
