Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
