remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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