you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
