He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
