If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
