i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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