My nipple is on Facebook.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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