But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
