and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
