god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
