They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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