His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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