you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize