i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
