she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
