i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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