I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
