Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
