i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
