I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
