You just made me feel so damn special
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
