gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
