I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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