people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
