I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
