"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this beer tastes like vomit already
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
