She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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